Peer Edit Sheet Descriptive Essay Topics

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.– Mark Twain

Why write a narrative?

I like to begin my ENG 101 class with the narrative essay. I call it an essay, but in my ENG 101 class, it is really a short story. The narrative has a twofold purpose. Because students are writing about an important event in their lives, students find it easy to write helping them get acclimated to college writing and expectations. And, since students are sharing about their own lives, the narrative helps me get to know them more personally building community in the class.

How to write the narrative?
  1. Narrative Essay – College Consortium Online Textbook
  2. Descriptive Essay - College Consortium Online Textbook
  3. Begin by identifying events in your life that taught you important life lessons. These events should have changed you somehow. We will be peer editing these papers in this class, so be sure to pick a topic that you feel comfortable sharing with other students.
  4. Once you identify the event, write down what happened. Focus on the actual event. You do not need to provide a complete build up to it. For example, if I am telling a story about an experience at camp, I do not need to provide readers with a history of my camp experiences, nor do I need to explain how I got there, what we ate each day, how long it lasted, etc. Readers need enough information to understand the event. So, I do not need to provide information about my entire summer if the event only lasts a couple of days.
  5. Utilize descriptions. As writers, we want our readers to experience this event as we did. We want to bring it to life. Descriptions put the reader in the moment. Make sure they are active descriptions, however. Do not simply tell the reader that it was exciting. You need to describe the event in such a way that the readers get excited. Do not simply state that it was hot. Provide a description so that readers think that it is hot.
  6. Use active voice. Active voice puts readers in the moment. They experience events as they happen. Think of a horror story where you experience running from the psychotic murderer right along with the hero. Here is an example of active voice:
    • "Nothing moved but a pair of squirrels chasing each other back and forth on the telephone wires.I followed one in my sight. Finally it stopped for a moment and I fired" (Wolff)
    • The verbs are all in active voice creating a sense of immediacy: moved, followed, stopped, fired.
  7. Use passive voice sparingly to add variety and slow things down. Here is an example of passive voice:
    • I had been aiming at two old people, a man and a woman, who walked so slowly that by the time they turned the corner at the bottom of the hill my little store of self-control was exhausted" (Wolff)
    • Passive voice uses the verb 'to be' along with an action verb: had been aiming, was exhausted.
  8. Once you have completed a draft, work on the pace of your story. Make sure you have included only the details that support your story. Get rid of any description that gets in the way of your story's flow. Use active voice as much as possible. Make sure your descriptions are vivid and clear. Remember to that people have five senses. You can appeal to the reader's sense of smell, taste, sight, sound, feel. Choose the memory that is the most vivid for you.
  9. Avoid cliches and idioms: the passion burns, as red as a rose, as big as a house, etc.
  10. Avoid giving inanimate objects emotions they do not possess: the evil flames licked the side of the house. Fire is deadly and can be devastating, but it is not evil.
  11. BE HONEST! Tell the story the way you would naturally tell it and not the way you think your teacher might tell it. Avoid what you think might be impressive language. Be exact in your descriptions. If you want to describe someone's hair, call it hair. Don't use tresses because that word sounds more sophisticated.
  12. Be Concise: Don’t get bogged down in in passive tense or long-winded sentences. Always remember: there is no exact way to write a story. Always think in terms of the point you are making. Does the information help make that point or does it get in the way.
  13. Avoid Awkward Language: Read your papers out loud. You can hear a sentence that sounds awkward or bad. You may not catch it reading it quietly.
    • Sample Awkward sentence: There are profound differences between the two types of personalities that scientists are just beginning to find out
    • Cleaner/More Concise: Scientists are just discovering profound differences between the two personality types.
  14. Redundancy: don’t be redundant!!! Now is the time to start building your vocabulary. Use a thesaurus and find better, more accurate words.
  15. Vary sentences: Don’t begin your sentences with the same word. Vary sentence beginnings, endings, lengths, and styles
  16. Point Of View: Be consistent in your point of view. Remember you are telling the story, so it should be in first person. Do not use second person.
  17. Consistent Tense: Write this in past tense. It doesn't work to try to write it in present tense since it already happened. Make sure you stay in past tense.
Sample Narratives

"On Being a Real Westerner" by Tobias Wolff

"Memento Mori" by Jonathan Nolan

"Coming into Language" by Jimmy Santiago Baca

"Shooting an Elephant" by Georgge Orwell

"Where the Danger Is" Student Narrative

Formatting the Narrative
  1. Be sure and utilize MLA formatting for the paper:
      • 1" margins all around the paper.
      • Double spaced
      • A header on the top right hand corner 1/2" from the top of the paper should include:
      • Last name and then leave a space and the page number
      • On the first page on the left hand side include:
        • Your full name
        • My Name
        • Course Title
        • Date
      • Be sure and type both the rough draft and final essay.
      • Click on the image below to see the full-scale version of the first page of an MLA formatted paper.

Wolff, Tobias. "On Being a Real Westerner." Radford Universeity. Web, 8 July 2013.

Writing the Narrative

  • Write a 2-3 page narrative/description
    • Make sure it is on an important event in your life.
    • Make sure you pick an event that caused you to learn an important life lesson.
    • You should pick an event that caused you to change and grow in some way.
    • Although you certainly do not have to write on something negative, most great steps or leaps in learning have resulted from negative events.  
    • That is the only good thing that comes from negative events.
    • Some of your best writing will come from them too.
  • Once you have written your rough draft, upload here.
  • Then click on the 'Next' button.
  • Use the "Editing Sheet" on the next page to edit your paper. The questions on the edit sheet are designed to help edit your paper and catch common mistakes that students make.


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License by Lynn McClelland.

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Before you begin, be sure to model and discuss each step of the writing process (prewriting, drafting, revising, editing, and publishing), preferably using a whole-class story or class newsletter article. Please note that the revising stage precedes editing. Student should have already worked through content revisions before reaching the editing step.

When they are ready for the editing stage of the writing process, students should edit their writing and then meet with a partner to engage in peer editing. Prior to having students use this tool independently, it is important to model its use. To do this, display sample text on an overhead projector, document camera, or SMART Board so that all students can view it. Model the use of the self-edit column with the displayed text, with you assuming the role of author. Then have a volunteer fill out the peer-edit column so that all students can hear and view the process. Finally, discuss what went well and what could be improved in the editing steps that were modeled.

This tool serves multiple purposes, including:

  • The self-edit step
  • encourages students to evaluate specific features of their writing, increasing self-awareness of writing conventions
  • keeps the pen in the writer’s hand for the initial editing phase
  • The peer-edit step
  • helps build a learning community in which peers work collaboratively
  • heightens the awareness of various print and grammatical conventions for the peer editor and the author
  • Use a fish-bowl technique to allow the class to view a self- and peer-edit session of two of their classmates. To do this, first choose one student to model the self-editing phase. It is helpful to select a student who has a good understanding of the criteria on the rubric, such as proper grammar and punctuation. That student works through the items in the self-edit column as the other students observe. It is helpful to put the editing checklist on an overhead projector or document camera so all students can see the process. After the self-edit is complete, discuss the process with the students. Next, choose another student to serve as the peer editor for the piece that was just self-edited.  Have the two students sit in the middle of the class so that all students can see and hear them as they work through the peer-editing phase. Afterward, include the entire class in a discussion about the process itself and ways in which the editing session will help the author and peer editor improve on their writing.
  • Have students work in groups of two or three to edit one piece of writing. The interaction between peers will help make the editing process more explicit. While the students are working in groups, move from group to group to check their understanding of the editing process and use of the checklist. Try to notice groups that lack comments in the “Comments and Suggestions” columns and encourage them to use this section to provide feedback to the writer, particularly for criteria that lack a check mark. To guide them, you could ask, “What do you think you could write in the ‘Comments’ section to help the writer fix this error?” Be sure to tell students that if they are unable to mark a check in the “After completing each step, place a check here” column, they must indicate the reason why they cannot check it in the “Comments and Suggestions” column.
  • Regularly review the editing process by using samples of students’ work or your own writing samples. Assess students’ progress of the editing process by creating a simple checklist. List all students’ names down the first column and a row for dates on which the editing checklist was used across the top. Then, as you observe students during the editing process, you can rate their level of effectiveness as an editor by using simple marks, such as:

    NO = Not Observed (use this for students you did not get to observe on that date)
    +  = exceeds expectations
    √  = meets expectations
    -   = below expectations

    Student NamesDate 1Date 2Date 3Date 4
    Student A
    Student B

    If you notice a student who receives a “below expectations” two times in a row, you can have him or her work with a peer who typically scores “above expectations” to model the process for him.

  • If your school uses a team approach for grouping students (a group of students who all share the same content area teachers), consider encouraging other team teachers to use this checklist in their respective content areas. Consistency in the editing process will help students understand that the editing process can apply to all written pieces, regardless of the content area.

Grades   5 – 8  |  Lesson Plan  |  Standard Lesson

Digitally Telling the Story of Greek Figures

In this lesson students research Greek gods, heroes, and creatures and then share their findings through digital storytelling.

 

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